But, We Just Met! - The Media Barista

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Alternate Title: Whoa! Take a step back – I don’t know you well enough to get engaged!

Engaged. It’s a word we hear over and over again when social business is part of the discussion. It’s a word that is often overused, but for the purposes of this blog we maintain that it is often used a bit too early. Yes, the overall goal is to engage your audience, but before you can do so you have to do a bit of getting to know you work.

Having an engaging personality is key to a successful social presence, but you don’t get engaged after a first date, now do you? There may be a few love at first sight stories floating around, but for most of us it takes a little longer. So, how does it work for most?

  1. Connection: It starts with a connection. You get introduced. At the time of that introduction a first impression is made. Is there a spark of interest? If not, engagement isn’t going to happen. Just like meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right, there has to be that initial “AHA” moment that triggers a desire to further the relationship. This is true of all relationships from romantic to friendly and straight into business.
  2. Conversation Level 1: Do you share any interests, ideals or other common ground. It’s not too deep or heavy, it simply sees if that spark, that AHA, is worthy of pursuing. Do you both have an affinity for Apple products? Do you gel on design style? Do you agree that location based services work really well for some business types, but not others? This first conversation level is crucial. It’s where you see if you actually get on, get along. We all want to do business with people we like. In order to know if we like someone, we have to get to know them a bit, see what makes them tick. This involves spending a little time conversing and discussing a variety of topics.
  3. Conversation Level 2:  Digs a little deeper. It’s a bit more intense. You discuss things that you might not bring up with a casual acquaintance. This is where you open up about goals, deeper ideals and even pose “what if” questions regarding how that person would handle a specific situation or issue. To relate it back to the idea about “getting engaged”, this would be when you discuss deeper issues like religion, politics and children. We do business with people we know, like and trust. This is the trust level.
  4. Relationship: Now it’s time to update your status on Facebook. You know, to “In A Relationship”. At this point you’re seeing if the spark continues for the long haul. If you like one another through thick and thin. If the trust holds through meeting each other’s families, friends and co-workers.
  5. The last step is getting engaged. It takes time, trust, mutual affinity and the weathering of some storms.

There’s a big difference between being engaging and getting/being engaged. Don’t jump the gun on the latter. It will mean so much more if you follow the proper steps and build the relationship slowly, carefully and with an eye toward a mutually beneficial end.

11 responses on “But, We Just Met!

  1. Thanks for the article Mallie. There are definitely new connections that I make that I seem to click with right away and others that don’t “click” at all. All relationships whether online or off take time and persistence. Thanks for the reminder that we need to take steps and build up slowly.

  2. Love it! I was just saying how brands have to stop collecting Fans on Facebook and start creating loyal brand advocates … which means conversation and relationship building. It IS a lot like dating, isn’t it?! We truly believe that at B2 and I hope other marketers start to adopt this attitude, too.

  3. Judy Bowker says:

    This is great! I love the concept and the examples will definitely make people understand the importance of slowly getting your fans involved and engaged. Social is not the space where if someone says “hi,” you assume they are your BFF for life. We all know what assume means… Thank you for the post!

  4. Nancy says:

    It definitely takes patience and time to develop relationships and turn that into continuing conversations. And, that’s probably one of the most difficult to understand, especially after a Fan Page day when connections are made so quickly. It’s what happens after the party that is so important to a long term relationship.

  5. Terrific topic!

    When I use the word, “engage”, online it’s in the context of “engage yourself” … in social media, in conversations, in opportunities to collaborate with joint venture partners, etc. In other words, engage your engine and get that motor running! :) Thank you, Mallie, for reminding everyone there are essential steps in building relationships.

  6. Kerry Armour says:

    Great post and you know I am totally on board with you on this point, Mallie! Brooke said just what I was going to post. It’not about fan count, it’s about fan connection!

  7. Love the dating analogy Mallie! It really illustrates your point.

  8. Just taught a workshop on this. Most people ‘got it’ yet one lady continues to spam walls and send out the same message over and over. I stressed the importance of meeting, connecting, the ‘first date’ (what to say), the trust building etc. My take on it: some people will never get it online, as they are abrasive off line, too! :) Neat article, Mallie.

  9. Fabulous way to describe online relationships! People are people. Makes no difference if we are online or off. Nice post!

  10. This is a great post Mallie! These are exactly the steps everyone needs to go through to create and maintain meaningful cyber relationships on Facebook!

  11. mallie says:

    For some reason, I failed to reply to any comments on this post. Not sure if I just missed a lot of notifications or what. As you all know, I am the type who comments on almost every comment, so not sure what happened here. Thanks to all who read, shared and commented. I’m in the middle of an overhaul of the Media Barista site and blog, so will be sharing some new links soon!

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